That was then, this is NOW.

*UPDATES*

Exactly 7 months and 3 days ago, I wrote an entry in which I expressed my concern about the 15-year-old male apprehended in connection to the murder of a well-known public servant. The media made all sorts of lame excuses for his behaviour and even made reference to the fact that he was raised in a “broken home” may be connected to his malicious ways. Of course being raised in a “broken home” myself, I was rather quick to challenge that as a reason. And I am sure many other persons raised in “broken homes” will too. Their interpretation of “broken home” does not incorporate the issues within the home, it is specifically focused on the fact that he lived in a single parent family. And for as long as I use it in this entry, I will be using the same interpretation. Fair enough, the term can mean so much more, but generally, new articles weren’t concerned with the other ambiguities of the term. Had the writers focus on the other aspects of his family life, I might have supported their judgement. But when they immediately narrow their focus for reason unmentioned, it begs the question – Does every child, once born into a single parent home, become malicious and hateful at some point in their life?

I went on to explain in the entry that I felt a bizarre thrust of emotion and interest in the mind and actions of this youngster. So much so that in the weeks surrounding all the media hype, it became somewhat an obsession. I said that I would have made it my duty to visit him in prison, once I get the chance and that I will update you as to the progress. Unfortunately, there has been no progress just yet. But hopefully his case will be called to court this year and depending on the verdict and sentence, I will make my decision as to what to do, how and when to do it. I found myself reading the entry I wrote last year and that woke me up a bit, and I promise to keep on it and do the best I can.

Oh and remember the entry about “Better Single than Sorry”? Well, I’m going to carry that motto into 2008. Geez, I don’t even wanna recap the number of let downs I’ve had as it relates to relationships. !SIGH! Some “men” can be so confusing and indecisive, both qualities I need not in my life henceforth. No more worrying about that aspect of life, I’ve been liberated. When the master is ready for me to settle I will.

I’ll never forget the time I was “Phasing” (going though an emotional evolution). Honestly, those were my lowest weeks for the past year. I felt like I was in solitary confinement and stuck within four walls of my own emotions. That was then and this is now. I have obviously recovered and I must say thanks to God for giving me the ability to bounce-back gracefully.

Anyone who knows me well enough can tell you that I love my family. So 3 plus months ago I faced the greatest challenge of all – or so it seemed! I left home and that was only half the challenge because I also shifted territory which was very difficult for me. I moved over 4000 miles away from home into a place I knew nothing about. As much as I appreciated embracing the unknown, I also missed home, particularly my mother, very much. At first, I wanted her to be with me to share in this new experience too, there were nights I’d cry myself to sleep, even contemplated transferring universities and moving back home. As time went by I slowly adjusted and I understood that I have to do this alone. She loves me and I know she wants me to have the best life and so she’s doing all she could to facilitate my dream and I needed to understand that and make it work for me. So now I am happy to say that I am not as emotional about the situation anymore, and I have accepted my new life. To the extent where I am home on vacation right now, and Im all ready to head back. NOTE: I said ready, not happy, LOL!

Smooth 2008 my ppl…

Zindzi-Raisa

Related posts:

1. One more, thank God!! =)
2. Severly homesick!
3. One Of My Greatest Fears.
4. Better Single than Sorry.
5. 3:40AM July 3rd, 2008