One thing I find myself doing a lot in my spare time, is looking back at the pieces I wrote earlier in the year or in the years gone passed. I see growth and maturity in each piece. 99% of the time I go “WOW, is this all me?” and the other 1% of the time I just laugh at the utter idle notes I have typed. Regardless, 100% of the time I feel proud. I often wonder where I’d be today, at this very moment, had I not have adapted this positive lifestyle and thinking. I’m sure I would have been a different Zindzi, not in the bad sense of the word ‘different’. Just in its basic meaning – ‘Different’.

Nothing happens over night, everything that is special and worth-while takes time. My first step towards opening up and changing must have been back in 2001 when I started a Diary. You know that diary that we swore our mothers could never have gotten into yet even when we lost the keys a few times we still managed to pry the “lock” open with a hair pin? LOL, remember those? Good. Back then all I could think to write about was “crushes”, “love-life”, “boys”, “best friend drama”, you know what I mean. Its typical of a 12/13 year old anyway, so I am not concerned. Besides, it was a form of expression just the same and look at me now!

As expected I grew not just physically but mentally too. I read more, listened a lot more and developed keen areas of my intellectual and personal life. I can’t say that I have had many personal struggles. Compared to some, I haven’t had the half! But you know something, losing that special friend who I thought I so loved, being gossiped about, being hated on, laughed at and experiencing every other negative situation I have ever been placed in, helped me with my metamorphosis. Don’t think for a second that I implying that at the very instance those things happened to me I was not upset, or hurt, or that I didn’t cry for a while. I’m just trying to show you that as soon as I got over it, I realised that ‘Hey, look at me now. Look at the Zindzi I am now despite all the past BS!!”

It makes no sense I show gratitude to rotten moments and not be happy that I have lived better times. Three words for you: Family and Friends! I tell yah, had I not have the bestest family in the world and the bestest friends to kick me in the ass when I so needed it and pat me on the back in my glory days, change would not have come in too much of a hurry. Trust that! I have said this before and won’t hesitate to say it again, gratitude is as gratitude does! It makes no sense to do well and not have anyone to say “good going” and this works both ways! If I am being a total ass, I have some friends that won’t even hesitate to point it out to me. I swear that sometimes they get some kicks out of it actually! LOL!

Another thing that I have given up on is excuses. Trust me, after going through the child to young adult stage you’ll realise that excuses just don’t cut it anymore. I believe that there is no excuse for ignorance and laziness! I like to accept no less than the best from ever one around me, even myself and thus making excuses won’t help you. At least, not when it comes to me.

Anyway, when I snap out of Reminiscing mode I think “Hey, look at me now!” I’ve gotten Beauty: The Journey off the ground and I am so proud and happy. I am making my family all proud in the process, nothing better than that to me. I’m still very young, I have a lot more life to live but I have broken from my cocoon and here I am, a beautiful butterfly.

After a bad day or stint of time – I have a good laugh, Thank God, sleep, wake up in the morning, Thank God and do it all again WITH PLEASURE!

Today and ALWAYS, Zindzi!